PARIS GRAMANN
Sick of trying yet?
Honey I have been sick for a long time
It goes in and out like waves on a shore
But surely it can’t be low tide forever
I often wish that I could feel one way or the other
For when I feel the one way I feel fine
The other, if I felt that way all the time
Then I’d know I didn’t have to feel anymore.
Sick of trying yet?
Honey I’ve been done since June
The flowers oh they looked so good
And the sun never felt so hot
But as the flowers dried up
So did my aspiration to try
Sick of trying yet?
Honey I’ve been done
The drip of the world’s nectar has run thin lately
And Lost am I.
Confused am I.
Huddled in a black cave am I.
Done am I.
Sad am I
Anxious am I
Angry …. am I
sick of trying yet?
Well, try, Paris, try!
And think of the good things in life
Try, Paris, try! The feelings switch again like the tide
And I will ask myself again,
Are you sick of trying?
Maybe today I am not sick anymore
Because today my life has been an upward tide
Things look up like my eyes towards the blue sky
Things look up like music notes that float through the pipes of my
working body
my running legs
the people that love me, I have people that love me!
And if I was too sick of trying,
then it would be clear to them that my mind
was too sick to think clearly of the good things in life.
Of the fact that I am here.
That I have the opportunity to be here.
And to make my here
be heard.
And I think that is where my tide goes in and out
Because when you have so much to say
But you don’t know how to say it
When you have so many feelings in your soul
But you don’t know how to feel them
You get sick of trying.
Published in 2016, 50th Edition of Drexel's Maya Literary Magazine